sing2himprayz

Towel Cake: New Business?

2011-07-10T18:29:00.003-05:00

Today, I was able to join my friend Courtney Dunlay (soon to be Elster) for her wedding shower. I wanted to get her something that wasn't like what everyone else was getting her and I wanted to get her something that she would actually use. I started to think about the things that we got for our wedding showers, which were almost six years ago. Then, I thought of the things that I still use now or the things that I've had to replace since then. My first choice was a large crock pot, so I texted Courtney's soon to be mother-in-law and she said that was the gift that she chose for the shower. I was thinking, "Bummer!" So, I went with my second choice... a towel cake.

Now, I've heard of and seen diaper cakes many times and I think I saw a version of a towel cake from my cousin's baby shower, with all sorts of baby clothes in it, but I had never tried it. If you know anything about me and giving gifts, you know that I like to give a unique gift and I like to wrap it well. It takes me hours to get everything wrapped perfectly at Christmas. I should probably just let it go and let Austin help me, but every year, I do it all myself.

There was no exception this time...

I wanted Courtney to have some nice kitchen utensils that tend to easily be broken or lost or just worn out. I also wanted her to have some nice towels, since towels can wear out so quickly!

I did some searching on the internet while the boys were taking their afternoon nap and discovered that it wouldn't be too difficult to make. This is the first look, before the ribbons and tag were added.

It includes:
1 set of wooden spoons
1 set of collapsing measuring cups
2 dish scrubbers (shaped like flowers)
2 dish scrapers
1 set of spatulas
2 bath towels
2 hand towels
2 wash clothes

I got the tulle and some orange flowers from Hobby Lobby. Their colors are orange and turquoise, so I did my best to find items for decorating that matched.

The towel cake was a huge hit at the shower. I was very happy with it because it fit my gift giving criteria. Several of the ladies told me that they would be willing to pay me to make one for them sometime. Austin actually said that he thought that I should have it as a side business. Now, this is where I need your help. I need to know if this would actually work.

If you could take a few moments of your time to do this for me, I would greatly appreciate it! First, take into account the items included in the cake, then answer these questions:

Would you buy one of these from me?
What would you pay for a towel cake?

This is a front and back view of the finished product:

Thank you for helping me out with this!

If you like this, please share this blog with your friends!

I have also been brainstorming some other possible themes:

spa

honeymoon

stocking stuffer

birthday party

new baby

Valentine's day

The possibilities are really endless...

Why I will not poop on the party:

2011-05-02T20:24:00.002-05:00

Last night, we all discovered that Osama Bin Laden was killed. My first reaction was one of a surreal nature. I am guessing that you probably had a similar reaction, initially. After I got over the shock, I felt a relief--not that the war on terror was over, but that he was finally caught. I know of several soldiers that have fought in this war. I have also heard of those that lost their lives because of this war and because of the effects of what this man did to our country.

Many people marched through the streets of America and chanted, "USA! USA! USA!" to display their pride for our nation. Twitter and Facebook were a constant buzz of the news. Then, the opinions started to appear. Since last night, I have watched several people on both sides of the coin post their stance on the matter. Some are glad that he is dead and some are furious that anyone would celebrate his death.

If you are a Christian, or even if you aren't, you can probably attest to the fact that Christians tend to scream and shout what they know or what they think they know about what you should do in every situation--right? (I too have been guilty of that at times.) I have seen posts that vary from the discussion of whether he deserved to die or not because he was "born a good person" to whether or not we should be happy when someone dies-good or bad. [I am not endorsing that people are inherently good, but that is seriously another post altogether.]

I'm not going to give you a black and white answer and I'm not going to expect you to agree with me, but I am going to share my take on the issue (after all, you are reading my blog).

So, what is the correct response?

I think it is however you truly feel about the situation. I know some of you are squirming in your seats right now and questioning my theology. If we trust our feelings they could cause us to sin. If we do what we feel, it may not be the right thing because we are acting in the moment. I am not looking at it from that perspective. Yes, for goodness sake, if you are rejoicing, take a minute to think about why. If you are doing it because you hate Osama and it is causing your hatred to increase, well, that's probably not healthy and it is also causing your sin to multiply in that area. BUT if you are honestly glad that they caught him, that he got what he deserved--as far as humans are able to punish him for his wrongdoing here--then I see nothing wrong with that. Absolutely, positively NOTHING is wrong with that! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

If you are rejoicing because you are thankful that maybe less soldiers will die at his hand, then please, holler, scream, dance in the streets! Be thankful that he is dead!

If you are glad to see that he was finally held responsible for killing so many of our people on our turf, then post as many status updates as you want! Celebrate that the families of 9/11 can have some closure.

The truth of the matter is: no one can tell you how to feel about it. No one. We all remember exactly where we were when the first plane hit. We all know how we felt, what the weather was like that day, what we were supposed to be doing at that moment, the questions we had about our country's future... all of it. We remember the sinking feeling that invaded our chests as we watched the second plane hit, as we were helpless on the other end of the screen. We also remember the images we saw for the rest of the day. We remember having deep conversations with other people around us. We remember silence--lots of it.

And if you were in NYC, you probably even have a more vivid recollection of that day than the rest of us do. You probably remember the sounds, the smell, how thick the air was. You probably felt the fear more deeply than the rest of us who looked on. It was real to us, but it was actually happening in front of your eyes.

We all felt differently that day.

We all felt differently last night when we heard that Osama was dead.

Whether your reaction was silence, disbelief, screaming, yelling, dancing, or posting something online, it was your reaction. You are the only one that can govern what you say or do. Please don't do anything stupid. Please don't do something that will make your life or the life of someone else more difficult. BUT please don't let anyone else tell you how to feel about it. Don't let anyone else make you feel bad.

And if someone wants to celebrate, please don't poop on their party.

When the righteous prosper, the city rejoices;

when the wicked perish, there are shouts of joy.

Proverbs 11:10

Who is making your list?

2011-04-28T21:42:00.002-05:00

This is the rough draft I sent in for the Inspired booklet for the May meeting of worship and production volunteers at PLC... We are reading Heart of the Artist by Rory Noland and will be discussing the chapter on jealousy and envy.

Has anyone ever quoted Psalm 37:4 to you when things weren't exactly going your way?

Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Instantly, you wonder, “Is this person accusing me of not spending time with the Lord? How do they know what is going on with me? How dare them!” Then, the I-deserve-it's kick in... “I work hard, I've practiced, I spend more time preparing than anyone else, I want it more, I, I, I...” and the list goes on and on. Then, you just want to punch that person in the teeth for being so helpful.

Let me tell you about a time when this happened to me.

Many of you probably don't know this about Austin and me, but we are unable to have kids without a ton of medical intervention. It has taken us on quite the emotional rollercoaster throughout our marriage. A few years ago, after several failed treatments, we had a successful pregnancy for about 10 weeks. Then, it was over.

To say it was difficult, is an understatement. We deeply desired to be parents. We really wanted to be able to hold a healthy child that was ours. We didn't want to go through any more treatments. We were so ready to have a family! At times, I think it is fair to say that we reasoned that we deserved to be parents. Out of that reasoning, it was so easy to jump to the conclusion that it was God's will for us, when in reality, it wasn't.

During that time, someone quoted Psalm 37:4 to me and it made me feel so inadequate and small. It did this because of the way it was said to me and it seems like no one ever remembers or mentions verse 5 (NLT) in that passage:

Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you.

The desire verse 4 talks about is not our desire, but God's desire for our lives. If we lose sight of what God desires for us, sometimes we reason that we are entitled to certain things. We even go as far as to say that we believe that it is God's will for us, when deep down inside, it's really what we want for ourselves, despite His plan.

When we start thinking like this, it can be dangerous. We can start to envy what someone else has and our vision for God's plan starts to become cloudy until we are completely ineffective in the Kingdom.

After we mourned, we made an intentional effort to spend time with young children in the church we were attending. We let a couple go on a trip for the weekend, by watching their two youngsters. We had a 2 year old join us for lunch one day so that his mom could have a much needed nap. We loved on kids that had stressed out parents that needed a break. We entertained two middle school kids for an evening so that their dad, who was home on military leave, could have a romantic date with their mom. Why am I telling you all of these things?

When we were not getting what we desired, we were tempted to throw a pity party for ourselves and wallow in the thought that God wasn't giving us what we wanted. It seemed like everyone else had kids and we could have envied them and allowed it to consume us. Instead, we acted in a way that reflected God's desire. We were able to show love to children that needed it and our hearts were so full in return. If we would have kept looking inward at our hurt instead of outward to His plan, we would have missed these opportunities to minister to these kids.

When you stop envying what other people have and start looking at what God wants for you, your heart will always be full and your focus will always be in the right place.

If you are struggling with envy in the area of serving in the worship ministry, I encourage you to take some time to ask God what He wants for you. Put your list of wants aside and ask Him to make you a new one, a better one.

Turkey Sandwich from Heaven

2011-04-26T15:23:00.003-05:00

Here's another recipe that caused Austin to say, "You've really outdone yourself, babe!"

Enjoy!

Turkey Apple Sandwich (Open Face)

Kimberly Murray

*The measurements below are merely estimates, as I rarely use a recipe or measure anything while cooking.

Meat Mixture:

1 lb. ground white turkey

1/3 large white onion

2 cups finely chopped spinach

¼ teaspoon minced garlic

1 large farm fresh egg

1 ½ tablespoons smoked paprika

1 teaspoon ground pepper

3 tablespoons western dressing

10-12 drops frank’s red hot sauce

Vinaigrette:

extra virgin olive oil

raspberry vinegar

Sandwich:

whole wheat bread

apple butter

Colby jack cheese

Instructions:

Heat a large grill pan (or frying pan) on low with EVOO, slowly increasing the heat as you continue preparing the ingredients.

Mix all ingredients of meat mixture with hands in a medium mixing bowl.

Form mixture into small patties and set aside.

Add amount of raspberry vinegar as desired to the warm pan. Do not overheat oil, as this will cause a fire when mixed with the vinegar. Allow the mixture to simmer a few minutes before placing patties onto the grill pan.

While the patties are on the grill pan, prepare the bread. Spread a thin layer of apple butter on each piece of bread. Place thin slices of Colby jack cheese on top of the apple butter layer. Set pieces aside until turkey patties are thoroughly cooked.

Place hot turkey patties directly on the bread, cheese, and apple butter. Allow the turkey to melt the cheese before eating.

Green veggies are a great side for this dish.

Chicken Soup of Deliciousness

2011-04-26T15:11:00.014-05:00

I love to cook. I love eating food, I love thinking about new recipes, I love trying to recreate things that I've eaten in restaurants. My husband loves it, I love it, however, I never write anything down. Ever. I always make something delicious, ask Austin what he thinks and he responds, "It was amazing, but you'll never make it again, anyway..." In an effort to be better about remembering things I've made, I am going to start sharing some of them online. Feel free to make them yourself or share them with your friends if you like them. The recipe titles are silly, mostly because I'm not good at coming up with clever names and I use phrases that people use to describe my food.

Enjoy my first blogged recipe:

Chicken Soup of Deliciousness

(similar to the Olive Garden’s Zuppa)

Kimberly Murray

*The measurements below are merely estimates, as I rarely use a recipe or measure anything while cooking.

**This is a large recipe. You will want to cut it in half for a smaller batch.

Cook Time: 4-6 hours

Yields: 10-12 servings

Prepare the Chicken:

4 chicken breasts

black pepper, smoked paprika

1 box of chicken stock (not broth)

¼-½ bottle of Olive Garden dressing

half of a sweet onion, diced

green onions, chopped (only the white portion)

finely chopped spinach

Place the chicken breasts in a large crock pot, add chicken stock, cover the top of the chicken with a thick layer of black pepper and smoked paprika. Carefully pour Olive Garden dressing over top of the chicken. Cover chicken with spinach. Add onions to stock. Cook in the crock pot until the chicken is easy to break apart. Put the chicken on a cutting board and either shred it or cut it into bite-size pieces. Place chicken back into crock pot and add the remaining ingredients.

Soup:

quartered and sliced Idaho potatoes (you will need more than you think)

finely chopped mushrooms

leaves from 4 stems of kale (remove the stem from the kale before adding it)

1 box of chicken stock

3 cups Hansen’s heavy whipping cream

3 cups Hansen’s skim milk
1 cup Kraft Italian five cheese shredded cheese
1/2 cup grated fresh Parmesan cheese

smoked paprika

black pepper

basil

oregano

Allow all ingredients to cook in the crock pot until the desired consistency. Next time I make this, I will probably wait to add the kale until the soup is almost finished. I will also add more smoked paprika.

The ingredients from Hansen’s are available at their outlet stores (they take cash only). The Olive Garden salad dressing is available at the restaurant.

Are you aware?

2011-04-22T10:34:00.003-05:00

I've been noticing a lot more than usual lately that there are a lot of ungrateful parents out there...

I know, I know... "Really? Did that just dawn on you?"

No, actually, it didn't. There are just times in life when things are brought to the forefront of our thoughts and this is one of those times...

I've heard a lot of people complaining about their kids lately. I've heard terrible stories of how people abuse their kids. I've heard a lot of people even saying that they don't enjoy having kids or that they aren't sure that they even want their kids. I wonder to myself, "Do they hear themselves? I wonder if they comprehend the power of the statements they are making..."

I also think to myself, "I'd trade places in a heartbeat."

Now, I need you to understand that I am content with my life right now. I am so blessed and my basic needs are taken care of. I really have nothing to complain about.

However, when I hear you say those things... well,

this is what is happening in my heart...

I want to be a mother.

I'd give anything to be a mother.

I will take your "brats" and raise them.

I will gladly trade you for the morning sickness and the weight gain.

I will open up my home to your child so that they feel loved and safe.

You are so blessed and you don't even see it!

God, open their eyes!

That is how I feel. I've sat silently, mostly due to the fact that I don't know what to say to these people. They've made me speechless. They are blessed beyond measure and it still isn't enough for them. They hate the things that God has given them! How selfish! How foolish! Why?!?!

If you find yourself making some of these statements, please think about what you are really saying. And if you really feel that way, realize that there are women in your life that remain silent most of the time because they don't know what to say to you. Some have tried for years to be mothers... and some never will be... You aren't the only person in your world. There are people around you that are deeply impacted by the way you live your life and the things that you say. Please be aware of that.

Sometimes I wonder...

2010-11-01T16:00:00.006-05:00

We attended a wedding awhile back that made me wonder a few things about people that call themselves pastors. I know, huge can of worms, here we go...

Throughout the course of the weekend, Austin and I observed many men, fresh out of seminary that were doing "godly" things. They were talking the talk, they were dressing the part, but that was about it. As the weekend charged on, we found ourselves in the midst of conversations with these men, conversations that made us sick to our stomachs. They were talking about how they took advantage of families during their internships. They would visit an elderly couples' home to bring them communion and pray for them, but they would plan it around the time that the couple would probably be having supper, so that they got a free meal. They continued to list other ways in which they took advantage of the congregations that they were serving while in seminary.

They all had acquired their own congregations a short time before the wedding, and they were complaining about how people would call them by their first name, instead of attaching the title "pastor" to it. They ranted and raved about why people refused to call them Pastor or still thought they were seminary students. They went on and on about how they were important and deserved great respect.

The night got even more interesting when the beer was in full swing. I have no qualms about having a drink here and there. I do, however, have a more difficult time having a drink when their are children present and I do have a huge problem with adults being drunk, especially in front of kids. Well, at this wedding reception, these pastors proceeded to get sloshed. One of them got a child to be his own personal bartender. The kid was probably only 7 years old at the very most, but he would take the empty cup of the pastor and fill it to the top... until it was empty, then he'd do it again. This particular child had a lisp and had a very hard time saying certain words. The young pastors got him to repeat words after them that he was having trouble saying, over and over. I remembered looking to Austin and saying out loud,"This is so terrible. This child will remember this forever, while these drunk idiots won't remember this tomorrow." We got up and went to another part of the reception hall and left shortly after the incident because we no longer wanted to be associated with that kind of behavior.

Since then, I've looked back on that situation quite a few times, and I can't shake it. I can't shake the hurt that the poor little boy had on his face. I can't shake the image of these men, these men who are leaders of their own congregations. These men are responsible for hundreds, maybe thousands of people that may or may not be going to hell. These men are responsible to the Gospel. These men are most of all responsible to God.

As hard as it was to watch, I sometimes wonder what my life is saying to other people. I may not go around and get sloshed and disrespect the name of Jesus in such a blatant way, but what am I doing that I need to stop today? Are my actions getting in the way of the Jesus people should see in me? Are my words representing a different kind of god? Am I holding on to things that are causing others to stumble, especially those who look to me for guidance?

Search me, God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139:23-24

My prayer today is: if you are struggling with something that is causing others to stumble, that you'll take some time to confess it to God in this moment. You may not think that there is something as disgraceful as what these men did that night, but if we are all honest with ourselves, we may discover that we are in worse shape.

God forgive me for causing others to stumble. Order my steps in Your Word, Lord. Guide me so that I may guide others. Forgive me, so that I may forgive others. Live in me, so that I may live for You.

Something Greater

2010-10-30T20:43:00.001-05:00

How do you know what's going on with me?
You point fingers, you shout at me
Without foundation,
Without knowledge.

How do you know what's going on inside?
You have no clue, you're filled with pride.
Hard to take with salt.
Of course, it's not your fault.

How do you claim to know me?
When you are too busy, too busy to see
How I'm living.
How I'm giving my life--to something Greater.

To Someone greater, to something bigger,
To something that we can't begin
To figure out within our human doubt.

To Someone gentle, to something larger,
To something that is taking over me.
Is He taking over you?
Are you allowing Him to?

He is taking over me, is He taking over you?
He is digging deep in me, is He digging deep in you?

I want to live for Someone greater, for something bigger,
For something that we can't begin
To figure out within our human doubt.

For Someone gentle, for something larger,
For something that is taking over me.

Is He taking over you?
Are you allowing Him to?

God is still good.

2010-06-14T18:01:00.002-05:00

If you know me, you know that I'll give you an honest answer when you ask how I am doing. Not just a quick short answer most of the time, but a brutal, honest answer. Sometimes I wonder if you really want to know, but I answer anyway. If you are reading this, you may have picked up over the last couple of months that my job has been tough. I've been thrown under the bus a few times. I haven't been supported for success by the administration. It's just been a bad situation all around. If you know me, you also may know that I don't quit, EVER unless I have something else lined up. I tend to like to know what is coming next. I plan my life out to the last detail. I like to be in control. I like to be responsible.

When things are out of control, it's really easy to doubt what God is doing. Come on, you know what I'm talking about. Let's not pretend. It's really easy to praise God when things rock and you can't imagine being happier. It's really difficult sometimes to just trust that everything is really going to be okay when things are really bad.

So, I quit my job today. Yes, I quit. I can't hardly believe it now... but I quit. I did it. It is weird. Anyway, I also cried a lot today. Partly because some things that are going on at work are really unfair. I might be dealing with some legal issues in the near future which makes things a little scary. I also cried because I'm going to miss the kids. Most of the crying was because I was really uncertain with what was going to happen next.

Then, I had a moment when I thought to myself, "Hey, crybaby, stop it! Listen, God has always provided for you in the past, right? Why are you crying?" I realized at that moment that I needed to cut it out. I know that realistically, I'll probably cry some more when I say my goodbyes to the kids on Wednesday and I'll cry out of frustration with the whole mess, but I won't cry anymore about whether or not we are going to be taken care of. Not an option. It's off the table.

I can look back and reflect on the past and see so many places where God has provided for me when I didn't know where the next provision would come from. When I started living on my own, God provided a place for me to stay. When I didn't always have enough money for groceries, a meal would practically fall out of the sky. When we wanted (not needed) to buy a house, we walked right into a super steal. When we left a ministry that was very near and dear to us, but painful at the same time, He gave us a new church family to do life with. At the time, He also gave me a full-time job that seemed to just fall into my lap. When Austin's car kicked the bucket, He provided a nicer car than we were looking for within our price range.

I am choosing to look ahead and focus on what is true and what is real. God is real. God is good. He will always be good even if things around me are not. He will always have a plan even if the next steps are invisible to me. My prayer is that I'll see the unseen more clearly and that through my life others will see that God is still good no matter how bad things are.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.--James 1:17

My life will change, my circumstances will change, but God never changes. He is always the same and I can count on Him to provide for me as I need it. His desires for my life are perfect.

God is still good, even in the midst of the tears.

Glad I stuck around...

2010-04-20T09:45:00.003-05:00

On Sunday, I got the privilege of filling in on the PLC Waterloo team. I hadn't been there yet and didn't quite know what to expect. I got there bright and early at 6 a.m. and got to see the whole thing unfold. If you haven't witnessed the brilliance of Portable Church Industries, you are missing out. Hoover took on a transformation that was quick and well executed within a couple of hours.

Anyway, after everything was all set up, we rehearsed the music a few times, then got set for run-thru. After we finished with the worship set, we were talking about how to do the transition from the video that they were going to show into what Ron was going to say. Jon said to me, "This video will make you cry." I figured that it'd be good for me to watch it so that I wasn't blindsided by it during the service.

Normally, when someone tells me that a video will make me cry, I get a little misty. I think there is something about not completely relating to someone's life experience but feeling empathy for them instead. Most people feel empathy when they watch the news or see horrific things unfold that do not directly effect them. Now, there are other times when even a tiny slice of someone's story can make an old wound fresh in your heart again and bring you back to the fresh emotions you experienced when you first received that wound.

As I watched the video "99 Balloons" this happened to me. I tried to keep it in, keep composed, not make a big deal out of it... but as I continued to watch, my bottom lip started to quiver and I couldn't hold the tears back any longer. I felt so bad for the family. I do not know what it is like to carry a child to full term and give birth, but I do know what it is like to be pregnant and be excited for the arrival of a child. After many months of treatments and heartache, we finally were pregnant and everything seemed to be going well, then we were immediately dealing with a miscarriage. In this case I could sympathize more than empathize. Losing a child is terrible, no matter what stage they are in.

When the video was over, I went outside to cry it out. I was starting to wonder if I would be a help or a distraction at the end of the service. I wanted to do what they needed me to do, but I didn't know if I could watch that video again. I went back and forth and back and forth and the Spirit whispered to me, "I'll use you in that moment. Be obedient." Then it hit me, if I fold to what I am feeling, I am surrendering to my own comfort. I am not thinking of anyone else but myself.

Believe it or not, this is honestly the first time I've ever had to deal with that in the context of leading worship/being involved on a worship team. I've lead worship when things around me were completely falling apart, but I've never had to lead in a moment when I felt like I was breaking on the inside. Even when we went through the miscarriage, I took 3 or 4 weeks off and let someone else lead. Sure, I was sad and aching after that, but the pain was no longer fresh and I had time to deal with it by the time I returned to leading.

So... the worship set went really well. And the message was great. Then, came time for the video. I had been praying through most of the message that God would take this burden from me and if not, that He would allow me to lean on Him to get through the video and the last part of the service. Leaning... leaning... leaning... God I am leaning on You! That was pretty much my thought process as we stood backstage, ready to wrap up the service.

The video was almost finished... leaning... I plugged into my aviom... leaning... the video was concluding... Lord, help me get through this... we started to play... God, be glorified in this moment... Ron challenged people to ask, "God, why did this happen to me?"... God, touch people's hearts, let them be open to You. Let them be brutally honest... Ron prayed... God let people have no fear about coming forward. Move mightily through these people...

And then it happened, people that I knew needed Jesus or needed healing started to come forward and place their questions on the board. Some that I never thought I'd see up front for any purpose. I started to get teary again, but this time it was because God was working in that moment.

I'm so glad I stuck around.

Thank you God for using me in my weakness.

What I got from my Facebook fast...

2010-04-06T17:56:00.004-05:00

I decided to fast from Facebook for approximately 10 days. I am a definite Facebook addict and was convicted that I needed to take a break in order to prepare myself for Easter weekend. Briefly, this is a summary of what I got from it...

My prayer life increased and was more focused... I started praying more often. I thought that I prayed a lot throughout the day before, but during this time, I was in much more conversation with God than I have been for awhile. God also started bringing specific individuals to my mind to pray for... people I wouldn't have normally thought to pray for.

I walked around with the blinders off... As I drove or went to get groceries or just carried out my daily activities, I was more aware of strangers and what kind of day they might be having. I struck up more random conversations with people than normal. I sensed when people needed me to pray for them, even though I didn't know them.

I thought more about the lost... I wondered more about whether people were going to heaven or not. I found myself, sitting at a red light, watching cars drive by in the cross-traffic, looking at their faces and wondering if they knew Jesus. I wondered about the guy who walks his dog in front of our house around 4 p.m. every day. I wondered about the mailman. I wondered about some of my neighbors, who I've only had a few short conversations with.

I could think more clearly... as I backed away from Facebook and some media type things that distract me, I felt like a cloud had been lifted from my head. I found myself pondering what God is doing with my life more than usual. I could also hear Him more clearly.

I was more sensitive to the Spirit... I could hear the Spirit "whisper" to me much more clearly than before. He also whispered more often.

I was able to be part of something much greater than myself... when Easter weekend rolled around, I was ready to hear from God and be used by Him! It started off with an amazing night of worship and reflection on the cross at the Good Friday service. God showed up big time. The Spirit ambushed us! The momentum didn't quit. God continued to move and change people throughout the services on Saturday and Sunday. As I look back on it all, I am still in awe and definitely humbled to know that He chose me to be a part of it. He didn't have to choose me. He didn't need me, but He used me anyway!

I have fasted before, and experienced a greater closeness with God, but never have I seen Him move in the way He did this weekend! Amazing!

Let the King of Glory enter in.

2010-02-13T12:46:00.005-06:00

I go through phases when I lean toward a particular worship tune over another. It usually depends on where I am at in my life and in my walk. Lately, this song has been in my head and heart on a daily basis. After finding a new church home, God has been reshaping us and refining us.

As we have been attending PLC, we've watched how God has placed this massive vision--to reach Iowa for Him--on the shoulders of our pastor and the leaders there. As the vision has unfolded, we've felt like we've become part of a surreal story that is of Biblical proportions. There are people that are coming out of the woodwork that are ready to be a part of it. God is providing in ways that cause us to be speechless. It's really hard to put it all into words. The whole thing is extraordinary!

We have been wrapping our minds around this for a few months or so now. During the time of transitioning from one place to another, this song (lyrics below) was on my playlist, but I listened to it with different "eyes." I listened to it through eyes of hurt and of fighting through piles and piles of emotional baggage.

One day, Austin came home from working-out and went to take a shower. He likes to sing in the shower and he started singing this song--Prepare the Way. I realized that I hadn't listened to that song since that whole time of drama. As I was cooking supper, I started singing with him (I don't think he realized this). I decided to play the actual mp3 that we had on iTunes and just sat and started to cry. As I listened to the lyrics again, it took on new meaning. I realized that I had a new perspective to listen to it with.

I began to feel overwhelmingly proud and privileged to be part of this big story. We are called to prepare the way for Him--whether it is preparing our friends to hear a clear message by living before them and inviting them to church... or stepping out of our comfort zones to serve... or even dusting off our hearts and breaking down walls that have stood between us and Him for ages and saying, "Use me. I'm ready to let You in again."

If you are reading this and you have struggled with past hurt, I would encourage you to reflect on this lyric:

Let the King of Glory enter in

He can heal you. He can take that pain from you. And most of all, when you let Him take it all on for you, He can use you to prepare the way for Him in your life and in the lives of those around you.

Prepare The Way
© 2004 Vertical Worship Songs
Jared Anderson

Prepare the way
Make straight the path for Him
Let the King of Glory enter in
Let the King of Glory enter in
Who is this King of Glory

The Lord strong and mighty
The Lord mighty to save
The earth is full of His glory
Creation calls prepare the way
His love endureth forever
His power is without an end
His strength is victory's treasure
Let all who call His name prepare the way

Let the King of Glory enter in
Let the King of Glory enter in
Let the King of Glory enter in
Let the King of Glory enter in
Who is this King of Glory

In Elizabeth's shoes...

2009-12-06T13:03:00.002-06:00

Lately, I've been holding onto something. It hasn't been our ministry situation... I'm totally happy with where God has placed us (I'm actually more than happy about how He is allowing us to serve). It hasn't been finances, although at times money is really tight. It hasn't been my job situation... God has provided the perfect job opportunity for this time in my life. I have already freely given all of those things up to Him. I wasn't holding on to any of them and totally trusting that He had it under control.

You know how you can be gripping onto something and it takes someone else bringing it to your attention for you to let go (or start to)? I didn't realize until today that I had some unfinished business with God...

John Fuller spoke this morning on "Waiting When God Seems Silent." Later on this week, please go to http://www.prairielakeschurch.org/media-center/default.aspx and listen to the message (it is usually posted mid-week). It is worth your time, without a doubt.

John spoke on the story of Zechariah and Elizabeth in Luke 1. As he spoke, he made several good points that I agreed with. They were...
1-God does not believe in coincidences.
2-God is not compelled to be on our timetable.
3-God does not play cruel games with people.
4-God isn't controlled by my behavior. (I added this one because I thought it was important.)

He also talked about why we can have trouble hearing God, which I totally understood and was on the same page with. He reminded us that sometimes unconfessed sin, wrong motives, or just being self-centered can make it difficult to hear from Him.

Then, he made some points about waiting well. That's when it hit me between the eyes.
1-Don't let "the wait" become God.
2-See beyond "my story" and see our place in His story.
3-Sacrifice my dreams for God's dreams.
4-Keep praying and stay faithful.

It's been awhile now, but at one point we let "the wait" become God. We were obsessed with ovulation calendars, LH tests, basal temps, fertility drugs. Our schedule was dictated by trying to get pregnant. After several fertility treatments and a miscarriage later, we realized how much our lives had been consumed by wanting a baby so badly. We had lost touch with friends, each other, and most importantly--our God! That's when we felt God calling us to renew our commitment to Him and let go of all of the baby drama. By doing that, we also renewed our commitment to each other and our marriage has been so much healthier ever since.

When John got to #3 above, it really hit me hard--sacrifice my dreams for God's dreams. We love our lives right now. We are loving where God has placed us and where He is taking us, but I have been holding onto this "want" of having a child. It hasn't consumed our lives, but I realized today that I've been holding this grudge against God. I've been struggling with His plan for me. There are days when I feel like I'm totally okay with it and then there are days that I just hang on to it too tightly. I struggle because I am reminded of it daily. Having kids is just a normal part of the conversation.

Are you married? How long have you been married? When are you having kids? Oh, you can't have kids? Have you tried x, y, or z fertility treatments? My friend tried this, you should try this. Why isn't it working for you? What's wrong with you? Is it you or him that is the problem? Would you ever adopt? When will you adopt? What kind of adoption do you want to have?

During these conversations, it is really easy to throw a pity party for myself or even get mad at God. I also work at a daycare and see several kids that need good parents. In those situations, I am reminded of how things don't always seem fair. Today, I was reminded that even though God seems silent to me in this situation, that He hears my prayers.

Luke 1:13a--But the angel said to him: "Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard..."

This verse reminds me that Zechariah and Elizabeth had to wait a LONG time. Much longer than I have even had to wait. Having a son didn't fit into their timetable the way that they had imagined. Years had passed, they had given up hope of having a child because they were old. God remembered their prayers and knew their hearts and gave them a son on His timetable. How awesome is it that the God of the universe takes the time to hear our prayers... even from years ago?!

Through this message today, God is challenging me to wait well. He has helped me to wait well through a lot of other major life changes recently. I have to let this go and give it up to Him, too. I have to wait well in this situation--with His help and in His time. I have to trust that His plan is sovereign over all of my hopes and dreams and plans. I also have to remember what His plan is and that it is all about what He is doing with me for His glory!

Romans 8:28--And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

This verse brings me hope and encouragement. I am encouraged that when God works in His time and according to His plan, my circumstances are what is best for me. That doesn't mean that they are easy or great, but that means that He will use them for good. I just need to be on board and listen for Him to speak... and listen for Him to tell me what is next.

I need to wait well, like Elizabeth.

At some point we realized the immensity of God...

2009-12-01T21:35:00.002-06:00

Lately, I've been wrestling something... I've been looking for the words that aren't there. I open my mouth and I feel like nothing intelligent comes out. If you know anything about my recent experience, you may find yourself in the same situation, if you were in my shoes. It is hard to simply answer the question: "Why did you leave the church you were serving at?" There are a lot of layers to the situation. Sometimes I just tell people that it was messy and we needed to leave. I'll tell others that there were major sin issues and the leadership was allowing it to continue. I've also said that the vision that God gave us (my husband and I) for ministry didn't match the vision of the church leaders. All of those things are true, but my husband recently ran across an excerpt from the book The Contemplative Pastor by Eugene Peterson that describes it better than I ever could.

Being a pastor who satisfies a congregation is one of the easiest jobs on the face of the earth--if we are satisfied with satisfying congregations. The hours are good, the pay is adequate, the prestige considerable. Why don't we find it easy? Why aren't we content with it?

Because we set out to do something quite different. We set out to risk our lives in a venture of faith. We committed ourselves to a life of holiness. At some point we realized the immensity of God and of the great invisibles that socket into our arms and legs, into bread and wine, into our brains and our tools, into mountains and rivers, giving them meaning, destiny, value, joy, beauty, salvation.

You see, I could have easily continued to be the worship director. I could have gone around and asked, "What do you prefer? How can I make you comfortable? What do you want to hear on a Sunday morning?" Instead, the vision that God gave us for ministry was so much bigger than ourselves. It was bigger than our wants, needs, or even our preferences. It was bigger than all of our opinions combined.

It was bigger because it was all about Him. Our vision for ministry was all about what God wanted. We asked God what was on His heart and He started to tell us. He wanted true, genuine worship. He wanted all of us, not just the pieces that we were willing to give up when it fit into our schedule. He wanted excellence. He wanted uninhibited worship--not worship that was designed to impress or fit the latest mold that we placed around it. He wanted His Spirit to be free to work in us. He wanted us to label our lives with Him. He wanted us to live our lives as worship to Him. He wanted us to bring the lost home.

As we began to receive this vision, we began to get excited. We began to envision how our church would display it. We also began to hit a solid wall when we presented it to the leadership. We knew that our hearts were beating evenly with the Lord's, but when we talked to others about our vision, it was like many of them were flat-lining. If they weren't completely unaware of the work that God was doing, they were too afraid to go against the tide. We told more and more people about the vision and more and more people stared at us blankly. More and more people kept saying, "Well that's not how we've ever done it... Our church will never go for anything like that." Every excuse that we got was laced with fear of the past or fear of a certain group of people or fear of the unknown.

After much fear, excuse, ongoing sin issues, gossip, slander, and dead-in-the-water leadership, we were finally released from that ministry. There was a definite day when we felt like the Lord released us from this prison. We had been fighting it for months. We had been praying and expectantly waiting for the "go ahead," while we continued to serve as if we were never planning on leaving. Our hearts continue to ache for those people, but God has released us into a place that is walking in step with His vision.

When it really comes down to it, whether you are volunteering or on staff in any ministry, you need to make a choice. Do you want to serve God's purposes or man's purposes? The rewards are much different for each choice. If you choose to serve the praise of man, the approval, the adoration, the popularity, the title... your reward is temporary. It will waste away. If you choose to serve the heart of the Father, the leading of the Spirit, the example of Jesus, a life that actually matters past this earth... your reward is eternal. It lasts forever. It will never perish or waste away.

I truly believe that each leader, follower, disciple of Christ needs to make the choice. Whose opinion matters in your life? Whose desires are you seeking? Whose purpose will you serve?

It's a big decision. If you make the right choice, it will cost you something... but what you give up will be totally worth it.