Throughout the course of the weekend, Austin and I observed many men, fresh out of seminary that were doing "godly" things. They were talking the talk, they were dressing the part, but that was about it. As the weekend charged on, we found ourselves in the midst of conversations with these men, conversations that made us sick to our stomachs. They were talking about how they took advantage of families during their internships. They would visit an elderly couples' home to bring them communion and pray for them, but they would plan it around the time that the couple would probably be having supper, so that they got a free meal. They continued to list other ways in which they took advantage of the congregations that they were serving while in seminary.
They all had acquired their own congregations a short time before the wedding, and they were complaining about how people would call them by their first name, instead of attaching the title "pastor" to it. They ranted and raved about why people refused to call them Pastor or still thought they were seminary students. They went on and on about how they were important and deserved great respect.
The night got even more interesting when the beer was in full swing. I have no qualms about having a drink here and there. I do, however, have a more difficult time having a drink when their are children present and I do have a huge problem with adults being drunk, especially in front of kids. Well, at this wedding reception, these pastors proceeded to get sloshed. One of them got a child to be his own personal bartender. The kid was probably only 7 years old at the very most, but he would take the empty cup of the pastor and fill it to the top... until it was empty, then he'd do it again. This particular child had a lisp and had a very hard time saying certain words. The young pastors got him to repeat words after them that he was having trouble saying, over and over. I remembered looking to Austin and saying out loud,"This is so terrible. This child will remember this forever, while these drunk idiots won't remember this tomorrow." We got up and went to another part of the reception hall and left shortly after the incident because we no longer wanted to be associated with that kind of behavior.
Since then, I've looked back on that situation quite a few times, and I can't shake it. I can't shake the hurt that the poor little boy had on his face. I can't shake the image of these men, these men who are leaders of their own congregations. These men are responsible for hundreds, maybe thousands of people that may or may not be going to hell. These men are responsible to the Gospel. These men are most of all responsible to God.
As hard as it was to watch, I sometimes wonder what my life is saying to other people. I may not go around and get sloshed and disrespect the name of Jesus in such a blatant way, but what am I doing that I need to stop today? Are my actions getting in the way of the Jesus people should see in me? Are my words representing a different kind of god? Am I holding on to things that are causing others to stumble, especially those who look to me for guidance?
Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139:23-24
My prayer today is: if you are struggling with something that is causing others to stumble, that you'll take some time to confess it to God in this moment. You may not think that there is something as disgraceful as what these men did that night, but if we are all honest with ourselves, we may discover that we are in worse shape.
God forgive me for causing others to stumble. Order my steps in Your Word, Lord. Guide me so that I may guide others. Forgive me, so that I may forgive others. Live in me, so that I may live for You.
